DCAWD.com

who was following me last night. I found it really odd that you would do so. I was on my way back from dinner and you decided to follow me for god only knows what reason. I pulled off into the gas station to get some gas and you pulled in right there with me. You then proceeded to pull around, watch me get gas and clean my windows. When you knew I was going to pull out, you proceeded to go to the exit you didn't think I would go to since I was closer to another. I imagine you were quite dumbfounded when I pulled up behind you and waited for you to pull out ahead of me. I also imagine that you were a little irked since you then proceeded at about 15mph over the speed limit in front of me. Good thing I knew the speed limit though and let you disappear in front of me.

Your friend,
Sabre

Forgot to tell you, there was a terrorist threat on your life in that one section of road so I called in a police escort for you but forgot to tell you. Sorry.

Sabre wrote:who was following me last night. I found it really odd that you would do so. I was on my way back from dinner and you decided to follow me for god only knows what reason. I pulled off into the gas station to get some gas and you pulled in right there with me. You then proceeded to pull around, watch me get gas and clean my windows. When you knew I was going to pull out, you proceeded to go to the exit you didn't think I would go to since I was closer to another. I imagine you were quite dumbfounded when I pulled up behind you and waited for you to pull out ahead of me. I also imagine that you were a little irked since you then proceeded at about 15mph over the speed limit in front of me. Good thing I knew the speed limit though and let you disappear in front of me.

Your friend,
Sabre

Dear Sabre,

Thank you for allowing the Iranian Foreign Intelligence Service to remain close enough to your vehicle to attach surreptitious tracking and listening devices. Thank you also for having such an identifiable vehicle that we could positively confirm it was you we were tracking. Regrettably, we do not have the budget for more stealthy methods of surveillance than using fake police vehicles (having spent all our defense budget on diesel subs and surface-to-surface missiles), but we find this method is actually very effective.

If you notice any hissing or popping noises from your radio, or the EMS in your vehicle misses a knock or two, please ignore them.

Salaam alaikum,
Faisal Faillahian al-Esfahani
وزارت اطلاعات و امنیت کشور

dear (certain county in nova that i thankfully just left) fuzz,

get aids.


hugs,
cnw

He was probably waiting for you to try and stick up the gas station... or one of your ricer buddies to show up so he could accuse you of racing.

I'm convinced that exactly 51%* of cops are

*% may be slightly higher in Farifax County

If it were and I wasn't pressed to be anywhere I would've taken him on a tour of the city. Driving in very large circles making sure he got to see everything.

I hate pig tails.

chicken n waffles wrote:dear (certain county in nova that i thankfully just left) fuzz,

get aids.


hugs,
cnw

Dear traffic officer on 267,

may you be raped repeatedly and relentlessly with the phallus of a syphilitic donkey.

smooches,
complacent

complacent wrote: Dear traffic officer on 267,

may you be raped repeatedly and relentlessly with the phallus of a syphilitic donkey.

smooches,
complacent

Oh man, did you get a ticket? 267 is such a CF. Everyone goes 75 for some reason, and the cops just pick the ones they want to pull over. I used to do that road every morning on my way from Arlington to Reston, and it was always a pain in the ass to stay "legal" and yet not get run off the road. And then there are the deliberately constructed hiding places for porcine enforcement.

You shoulda tried the "but ossifer, I am shipping out to the sandbox tomorrow, to serve your couldnt-get-into-the-forces self, please to having pity on me" excuse.

I gather it's not one you can fight? (I fought my DC ticket by mail; that was remarkably fulfilling)

there's no point in trying to keep with the herd on 267. if you're in an impreza, stay right, set the cruise to the speed limit, and crank the stereo to drown out the horns of those around you.... and pray you don't get nabbed.

the stories of folks getting pulled over in stock sti's for "illegal scoops", "illegal exhausts", "illegal rear wings" and the like is enough to hate the fuzz forever.

I avoid 267 like I avoid a long hard day's work. With as slow as you'd have to travel to stay under the radar, you may as well take the scenic route and enjoy your ride.

lol, I've never had any trouble on 267 and travel it all the time... then again, I think I'm just lucky b/c of all the horror stories I've heard from people on there.